THE PEOPLE

MARRIAGE AND MORALS

(ii) Marriage is among the most sacred and significant of obligations according to Hindu religion, ethics and philosophy to which human life is subject. According to Hindu view, marriage is not a contract but a sacrament which is indissoluble. Members of the same caste and even sub-caste could alone be partners of the marital union. The injunction further was that such union must not take place between members of the same gotra, which may be described as an enlarged family clan. There must be at least a minimum measure of astrological agreement, between the horoscopes as determined by the position of the planets at the time of birth of the proposed brides and groom. Marriages had to be only during particular months of the year and at particular hours held to be auspicious in keeping with the horoscopes. Over and above these pre-requisites, a number of customs and practices grew around the marriage: ceremony. The celebrations spread over about a week and some consequential ceremonies extended even to a whole year.

In the age of reason, education and social transformation ushered by modern times, many of the non-essentials have dropped down. Several were considered even stupid and frivolous. Public opinion gradually but unmistakably underwent a change which was reflected in the new attitude towards social reform. It found expression in a great deal of legislation passed by the representative and democratic legislative bodies of the country. Thus child marriage was abolished. The justice and the desirability of the contractual element even in holy wedlock was recognised and divorce under certain specified conditions is now permissible. Freedom to marry beyond one's caste has been conceded and recognised as quite in order and even the gotra barrier has crumbled down. Marriages between members of sub-castes have become common enough. Marriages between members of different castes are no longer sensational, though they are not yet frequent. They have ceased to be topics of criticism and antagonism previously leading to social ostracism. At least in urban areas, they do not rouse even idle curiosity and inconsequential comment they once did. Under the stress of conditions created by industrial progress and modern education, rapid advance in the same direction may be made. The marriage customs of the so-called higher and lower caste groups among Hindus do not differ in important details. Only the ritual among the former is conducted according to Vedic mantras and among the latter according to Puranic mantras. Polyandry does not exist anywhere in Maharashtra. Polygamy was current enough and cases may be found even today in which a man has taken two or even three wives, but polygamy has now been legally banned. According to time-honoured ways of life, rules of endogamy prohibit marriage outside a caste or sub-caste; rules of exogamy prohibit marriage between sagotras, sapindas and sapravaras. Brahmans claim gotras and pravaras and abide by gotra and pravara exogamy. Marathas claim kuli (stock) or devak (marriage guardians) as well as gotras but among them as among Prabhus the same is not necessarily a bar to marriage, the chief restrictions being sameness of kuli and devak. Many non-Brahman communities have kuli, devak and surnames as exogamous divisions. Sagotra and Sapravara marriages even among Brahmans are now valid under the Hindu Marriage Disabilities Removal Act (XXVIII of 1946). The prohibited degrees of kindred for marriage beyond agnates vary according to the custom of the community concerned. As regards cross-cousin unions, except that of the brother's daughter with the sister's son, which is not only tolerated, but even sedulously sought among the Sarasvat and Deshastha Brahmans, other types are disallowed. Marriage with a wife's sister is allowed and a brother may also marry his brother's wife's sister i.e. sisters can become sisters-in-law.

Marriage ceremony

[The described ceremony holds good among Marathas and others who are in large majority in the district.] All marriage agreements may conveniently be reduced to five types. In salankrt kanyadna, the bride's father bedecks her with ornaments and jewellery and stands the expenses incidental to the marriage including travelling expenses of the groom's side. In kanyaddna, the bride's father's expenses are limited to his own side. In varapaksa-vadhupaksa form, the parties bear their own expenses and consider it honourable to exchange suitable gifts and dinner parties according to the means of either. In the hunda form, the bride's father pays a heavy varadaksina, so that the groom is,' as it were, purchased and in the deja form, the proposal is made from the room's side with a price for the bride. Variations suited to mutual convenience in all these forms are made in individual instances.

The process of the marriage ceremony consists of a number of stages. It begins with magani. Among the poor and backward communities, it is the father of the groom or some near elderly relative who starts the negotiations. In the case of the well-to-do they are usually initiated by the bride's father or his representative. If there is no initial hitch, the family priests who are usually astrologers come on the scene and compare the horoscopes of the bride and the bridegroom. If they agree, marriage terms follow and a betrothal day is fixed. Pansupari is distributed to the friends and relatives invited for the auspicious occasion and the marriage is taken as settled. It is considered dishonourable to go back on this settlement unless some extraordinary event unsettles it. This is followed by what is called sakharpuda or sakharsadi. On a mutually selected day, the groom's father or a close relative, of his and friends go to the bride's house to present her with a sadi and bodice cloth and some ornaments. Five suvasinis i.e. women with their husbands living mark the bride's forehead with kunku and present the sadi khan and ornament to her. with a packet of sweets. The others are given pdnsupdri and a light feast. This ceremony is known as sakharpuda. Some days later, the bride's relatives go to the groom's house for the tila ceremony when the groom is presented with a suitable headdress, clothes and a gold ring. The groom's forehead is marked with a tila, The sakharpuda and the tila together constitute the betrothal. These are followed by patrikapujana which means worshipping the papers on which the names of the bride and bride-groom are written by their respective priests with the God Ganesh as witness. After this all the family and local gods and goddesses are specifically invited to bless the contemplated marriage by placing a few rice grains before each of the idols. This is often done by a procession of friends and relatives going to the various temples.

A day before the marriage day, a symbolic ceremony known as ghana is held. Though it does not form part of the religious procedure, it is performed in the houses of both the bride and the bridegroom. A turmeric root, some wheat and an areca-nut are tied in a piece of new cloth to the handle of a jate (grinding stone) by married and unwidowed women. Next the women grind some wheal and turmeric by the handmill to the accompaniment of prayer songs to Ganesh and Sarasvati. Two wooden pestles arc then tied together with a piece of new cloth containing turmeric root, a betel-nut and a little wheat; some wheat is put into a bamboo basket and pounded with these pestles. The provisions for the marriage are supposed to be prepared after this ceremony but it is not really observed in practice. The grinding stone and the pestles used for the ceremony are kept in the same position till all functions in connection with the marriage are over. This is usually done in the early' hours of the morning. The next item is that of halad and telvan, A party of suvasinis from the groom's house go to the house of the bride to the accompaniment of music, taking with them in a basket turmeric paste, articles of dress, etc. The bride is smeared with oil and this paste and given a hot water bath. She is presented a new green sadi and choli. What remains of the turmeric paste and oil is taken to the groom's house. He is rubbed with these and given a similar bath. The bride's father presents him a dress which he puts on when he starts for the bride's house in a procession for the actual marriage ceremony.

On the marriage-day a number of propitiatory rites are gone through in the camps of the bride and the bridegroom. They are called mandapa-pratistha and devakapratistlul and include Ganapati pujana, punyahavacana, nandisrciddha and grahamakha- A spot in the marriage-booth is cow-dunged. Suvasinis decorate it with rangoli quartz powder) and arrange three pats (low wooden stools) in a line and cover them with rich velvet or woollen material. The parents of the bride and bridegroom take bath, put on silk apparel and seat themselves on the pats with their faces to the east. Next, because samskaras which ought to have been performed on the bride or the groom, but were not, are made to undergo a prayascitta (penance). The father of the bride or the groom declares solemnly: "I am going to marry my son or daughter named so and so in order to be free from the debt of gods and ancestors and to continue the performance of righteous deeds and to propagate offspring fit to perform these deeds." In this declaration is contained the essence of marriage as a social and sociological duty. In order that the whole marriage procedure may pass of without any inauspicious occurrence, prayers in propitiation of Ganapati, the family deities, Mrtyunjaya and the ill-favoured stars of the party are held through priests. These prayers commence before and end after the marriage and are known as anusthdn. Gadagner or kelvan are felicitations accompanied by dinners thrown at home and at relatives' on the eve of the marriage.

There is a ceremony which is peculiar only to those Maratha families in which some warrior-ancestor gloriously died on the battlefield. An elderly male member belonging to a kid, different from that of the party to be married is made to take part of the Veera Purusha. He is ceremoniously taken to the bank of a river. Water nymphs and the Veera Purusha are worshipped. He is presented a dress and he holds a sword in his hand. He is then brought back to the house and smeared with red powder. At the entrance of the house, rice mixed with curds and cocoanut are waved near his person. The sword in his hand is then taken and placed near the house-gods. The Veera Purusha has then to remain in the house till the marriage ceremony is over.

A formal declaration of the marriage settlement in the presence of friends, relatives and invited guests is held on the eve or on the same day of marriage at the bride's house. It is called vagdana or varigniscaya. The groom's father, accompanied by a party of men and women goes in ceremony to the bride's house. After they are welcomed and seated, the bride dressed in rich clothes is brought and seated on a pat. The groom's father gives into her hands a cocoanut and a betel-leaf packet and says thrice addressing her father: " I shall accept your daughter in marriage for my son." The bride's father says to him: " Please do " also thrice. Both of them then embrace each other and the ceremony is over. When the time for marriage draws near, the bridegroom is dressed in the dress presented to him at the time of halad ceremony by the bride's father. His brow is decked with a basing or marriage coronet. His left cheek is touched with lamp-black and he carries in his hand a dagger with a lemon stuck on its point. He must not part with it, till the marriage is over. He rides a horse or is even seated in a car. Musicians and drum-beaters walk in front and behind them walk all the men of the party followed by the bridegroom. Behind the bridegroom walks his sister holding the sakundiva (lucky lamp) laid in a dish and another woman follows her with a metal or earthen pot holding rice, betel-nut and water, covered with a mango-branch and a coconut set on a heap of rice in a bamboo basket. Other ladies and women servants follow. The party halls at the place previously fixed upon for performing what is known as simanta-pujan, worship at the boundary. Then the bridegroom's brother or some other relative rides the groom's horse and advances to the bride's house to announce the bridegroom's arrival. For doing this service he is called varadhdva or the groom's messenger. He is treated with special respect and given a present by the bride's lather. The bridegroom is then worshipped by the bride's father and the combined party proceeds to the bride's house for the marriage. On reaching the bride's house, one or two suvasinis pour water on the hoofs of the horse on which the bridegroom has come. The groom then dismounts and is welcomed by the bride's mother at the entrance of the marriage booth with a dish holding two wheat flour lamps, waves small rice balls and and thelamps round the bride-groom, throws the rice balls to one side and lays the lamps at his feet. Another suvasini pours a dish full of water mixed with line and turmeric on his feet. The bridegroom presents her with a sadi and bodice-cloth, the bride's father hands him a cocoanut and leads him by hand to a place prepared for him near the bahule (altar). The guests are received and seated in the marriage hall where music is kept going. The family priest keeps a close watch on the water-clock or "ghatikapatra kept by his side and notes the approach of the auspicious moment for the marriage. While all this goes on the bride is given a bath, is dressed in a special marriage dress and seated before what is known as Gaurihara and asked to pray to god Siva and goddess Parvati and Indrani, the wife of Indra, head of the celestial world.

A little before the auspicious moment, the bride's father worships the paper on which the muhurta has been written. Then two small heaps of rice grains are made near the marriage altar by the priest and a cloth with a central cross-mark is held between the heaps. The bridegroom stands on one heap and the bride on the other, the Former facing west and the latter east. A mixture of rice grains, jire (cumin seeds) and sugar is given into the hands of both. The maternal uncles of the bride and the groom stand behind them, in. the case of the Marathas and those who called them Kshatriyas with naked swords crossed over their heads. The priests stand on either side of the curtain and tell the pair to look at the lucky cross and pray to their family gods. The priests recite auspicious verses and throw rice, mixed with kunku, on both. One of the priests distributes red rice to the guests, which they throw over the bride and groom at the end of each verse. When the auspicious moment arrives, the astrologer claps his hands. This is a signal for all to start clapping and the musicians to play on their instruments and the singi to blow his horn. The priests draw aside the curtain and the bride and groom place a little of the mixture of rice grains over each other's head and garland each other. This is followed by what is called madhuparka. The bride's father and mother sit on two pats in front of the bridegroom who is seated on a slightly higher seat, a caurahga and wash his feet, the mother helping in potuing water and the father scrubbing. The father then worships the bridegroom and pours on his right hand a spoonful of honey mixed with curds which is called madhuparka. The bride-groom sips it. If the parents have a senior son-in-law or sons-in-law. they are offered madhuparka first in order of their seniority. The hands of the bride and the bridegroom are then joined by the father, a pot of bell metal is held under them by the priest and the bride's mother pours water with some coins in it over their clasped bunds. This completes the kanydddn or giving over the girl. This is considered a highly meritorious act on the part of a house-holder because the priests keep saying kanyd tdrayatu; puny am vardhatum. This means " May the daughter save her father and let his merit increase". The bride's father then presents new clothes, ornaments and other articles to the bridegroom. He puts round the bride's neck a lucky necklace called Mangalasutra which is made of black glass beads and some gold beads and a locket, Ganapati is worshipped by them and Brahmans are given daksina. The couple also worships Lakshml, Indrani and Parvati. While all this is in progress the guests in the hall are given pansupari, coeoanuts, sweets, flowers, attar, rose-water etc., as witnesses to the wedding. This done, they disperse- Vivciha homa i.e. marital sacrifice is then lighted and saptapadi i.e. going seven times round this fire on the part of the bride and bridegroom makes the marriage valid. But in order that it should be final and irrevocable, one more rite remains. That is known as pdnigrahana. Kankana or marriage wristlets are tied to the wrists of the couple and they are shown the Dhruvatard or the Pole Star while they hold each other's hands. This is a symbol of remaining steadfastly loyal to each other. The concluding social event is the varut i.e. the ceremonial, hlomeward return of the bridegroom accompanied by his newly-wed wife. This is usually done the same night or the next day's night. In the old days, when boys and girls were married at a very young age, parents and other elders of the family derived considerable fun by making the newly-weds go through a number of funny and frivolous situations. With grown-up boys and girls as parties to the marriage, this vulgarity has almost completely disappeared. Yet, they are made to sit to dinner in the same plate and feed each other. After varat, another socially significant ceremony is held at the groom's house. It is the welcome extended to the daughter-in-law by the mother-in-law. It is called sunmukhdarshan, literally seeing the daughter-in-law's face. She presents the daughter-in-law new clothes and ornaments and puts sugar in her mouth. The last religious ceremony is devakothdpana or unshrining of the clevctk. It is performed on the 2nd, 4th, 5th, 7th, 8th or 10th day of the marriage. The details are the same as those observed while installing the devak. When this is over, Brahmans and priests are rewarded for their services. It is a custom among Satara Marathas and similar communities to treat guests with a sweet feast during the marriage period and a hot feast after the devakothapana. It chiefly consists of meat, mutton and fowl.

During the last thirty years conditions of life have enormously changed. The marriage age of boys and girls has considerably risen. The economy of the country has undergone a transformation resulting in increasing urbanisation, overcrowding in cities and a much faster tempo of day-to-day life. The old, elaborate and leisurely ritual, whether, religious or social, connected with an event like the marriage is found to have no place in the altered circum-stances. Attempts have been made to rationalise and abridge the whole ceremonial. Needless to say that the other several samskaras. have also been abolished or abridged. Upanayana still remains only in name, but in most cases the sacred thread is given up almost as soon as it is adopted. Collective Upanayanas have come into vogue in certain places which show that people still care for the nominal initiation of children into the student stage with some religious ceremony. The only other samskaras are those in connection with birth, death and pregnancy that are still cared for and observed.

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